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Dear friend-who's-trying-so-hard-to-please-every-single-person every single day.
You can't do it, and that's ok. In fact, heck, it's not even possible. There are some folks who are going to choose not to reciprocate your kindness and friendliness, NO matter what you do. You can speak and wave, give genuine smiles, provide words of encouragement in person (and on social media), and go out of your way to be extra kind in every encounter, but there are some people who are just NOT going to return this to you. To add to your frustration, you may even witness them being overly kind and friendly to (specific) others, but still not to YOU. And even with that in mind, the thing you must realize is, it's NOT really about YOU (even though it may seem that way). Whatever holds someone back from returning your kindness is totally about them. Some people will only be friendly and kind when there's some kind of benefit for themselves. Maybe there's nothing that "you" can do that will feed whatever need this person has. Maybe there's a hidden grudge buried deep inside them. Maybe there's jealousy that they aren't really aware of and would never acknowledge. You can bet that there are inner hurts, fears, and insecurities that they're dealing with that no one will ever really know. Keep in mind that hurting people hurt other people. Whatever it is, don't personalize their behavior. Just keep showing compassion for yourself and for others and being as kind as possible every single day. We've all got our own crosses to bear, and we're all just doing the best that we can.
Our pastor recently told the following story during the sermon. (Here’s the gist of it, not the exact story): A little boy (I’ll call him Jimmy) from a very disadvantaged home was invited to attend church with his friend from school, (a boy from a more affluent family). Jimmy worried all week about what he might wear because his family barely had enough money to buy groceries, much less nice clothes. For church that morning, Jimmy dressed in the very best thing he had, which happened to be a worn pair of denim overalls and some clean, but scuffed, tennis shoes.
His friend’s parents picked him up, and they headed to church. Although he was apprehensive, Jimmy thoroughly enjoyed Sunday school class! He loved singing the hymns, listening to an exciting story from the Bible, and drawing a picture of his favorite character from the story. At the end of class, the Sunday school teacher called him aside. She said, “Jimmy, we’re so glad to have you with us this morning and we surely hope you’ll be back next week. But you need to remember next time, you don’t want to come back unless you’re wearing your very best clothes. We always want to look our best at church.” And that was Jimmy’s last visit to church. The sermon was about hospitality and not just being warm and welcoming to our family and friends, but showing that same kindness, love, and acceptance to everyone, no matter how different from us or whether they may or may not be in our “circles”. And as that old song goes, “And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.” A good reminder for us all. |
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Mississippi Real Estate License #22895
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